Run 734, The Red Lion, Old Marston, Oxford, 6 March 2013

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Gadget, Scribe: Slippery, RA: Animal Magic

Sorry this is a bit late. I did tell Silent I’d be rather busy throughout the weekend, just had a small run the following Sunday to prepare for. It was a little inconvenient of him to expect me to scribe for Wednesday’s trail etc, etc…

Silent listened understandingly as older brothers do, then with that face of a constipated gutter rat he nominated me regardless, the evil slime-rodent. Anyway, these are my words for Gadget’s trail.

Slippery on the Grizzly

Slippery on the Grizzly

Arriving half an hour early at The Red Lion I found the hare, Gadget who’d been scoffing chips while distracted by something of interest to him on his phone. FBJ, appeared similarly distracted over another clue in one of those Guardian Crosswords he likes. Same Crossword? Time I guess to check out my new shoes walking over to the bar for a bit of Hookey. Oh-no! Did I mention I was wearing new shoes? No reaction at all? Perhaps Oxford H3 hasn’t incorporated this hash tradition? I appear to have got away with this in Devon too. Luckily, FBJ, Shagger and the newly arrived Silent were now altogether distracted by that something on Gadget’s phone. What was this that manifested much merriment on each one of their faces? Internet porn? (Just dare try adding a link for that one, Silent) [sure, here's a photo of a couple of birds getting frisky together, Silent] Well, no actually, something far more useful. Gadget recorded his Red Lion GPS trail and shared this online prior to the hash. Indeed, very generous of Gadget and did I really say it was something more useful?

Gadget's FaceBook Post

Gadget’s FaceBook Post

We dragged ourselves from the warmth of The Red Lion and away from the Hookey and Abbot beers out into a cold car-park. Animal Magic was reluctant to join us outside. We had a virtual on-line trail, so could we not have remained inside the pub? [Like]. It made sense at the time. Gadget had put so much effort into laying the night’s trail after all.

We picked up the one and on trail into Boults Lane and out of the estate into some sports fields. Discovering a check and anticipating a town trail, I hunted about in the estate, found a blob carefully laid over a drain-hole cover and I called on. The hash pack funnelled through the gateway behind me…. Wait a minute. That’s not what happened. Everyone ignored me and carried on through the length of the field. Was this not a one and on trail? …Gadget?

Animal Magic & Gadget

Animal Magic & Gadget

A few cunning weaves around a residential area between Eden Drive and Headley Way and along beside the hospital. Here, everybody had disappeared from me somewhere nearby to the shops. Ten minutes separated from the hash and I was pacing about around the back of a car park desperately seeking a sign. Not even one pile of flour.  Three laps back and forth along London road, both inside the park and along the footpath by the road, through the park again, around another estate and back onto the London Road, asking passers-by for directions back to Marston. At least I wasn’t wearing that red dress again. Damn it, why didn’t I bring my mobile phone? Local knowledge, eh?  Everybody else was having slightly better luck finding the trail. I believe Animal Magic had the foresight to carry his phone with him and having arrived at the long/ short split, he led everybody successfully around the long to the south of Headley Way. Meanwhile, to my relief I found a check at The White Horse. Shagger wasn’t inside. Were you all so far ahead? For me the trail here was a long run back along the Headley Way to the Marston Library, where I was pleased to discover you all returned safely just a mere few minutes ahead of me.

Chef Shit Stix

Chef Shit Stix

Silent was lurking about at the corner. He’d brought me a dish of that delicious grub. We sampled some of chef-Shitstix’s sensational slices of sausage in a spicy sauce.

Circle was summoned and Animal-Magic introduced the varied DDs earned that night, water to Gadget for laying an outstanding one and on trail, a beer to Animal Magic for co-haring with the aid of his smart-phone after the longs too became lost. Slippery had a DD for running an extra length of trail (Grizzly Training).

Slippery

Slippery

Dipstick had one for ignoring his Dr’s advice. He gave blood then cycled from Wallingford to Abingdon, then Abingdon to Oxford for the night’s hash. Subsequently, he feinted hence his lateness.

Also our virgins, Paul and Jess, got DDs.

Newcomers Paul & Jess, with Animal Magic

Newcomers Paul & Jess, with Animal Magic

We all hope you’re feeling better now Dipstick. Put your feet up and lay off the beer for a while…!

Thanks for arranging a great evening Gadget.

On-On, Slips! [Share]

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Run 733, The White Hart, Eynsham, 27 February 2013

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Mummies Boy & Silent. RA: Shagger. Scribe: Salty Nuts

The White Hart, Eynsham

The White Hart, Eynsham

We arrived in Eynsham at the White Hart pub only to find that our hare was suffering from the Curse of the Mummy, well man-flu at least, and had delegated the run to our young GM Silent!

“The best trail Silent’s never laid!”, La Crease.

Well there was I thinking what a great day!  I’d won the Technet Element of the Week quiz, my manager was on holiday meaning I’d been able to get on and complete three boards is as many days, and I’d snagged pre-sale tickets to next year’s Within Temptation concert at Wembly Arena.  Could this day get any better?

Then I walked in to The White Hart at Eynsham, ordered a Red Kite beer and sat down to savour the pint before the rest of the pack arrived.

The next thing I know a guilty and haggard looking Mummies Boy handed me a map and said, with an increasingly rasping voice, “I’m ill *cough* here’s a map, *cough*, you’re haring”.

But hey, at least Salty Nut’s referred to me as “our young GM Silent”

Silent

Back to Salty Nut’s write-up:

In the meantime Wha De Say and Shagger were looking for inspiration and wondering what the hell happened to their youth?

Whadesay, Latchkey Kid, Swing Low, Shagger

Wha De Say and Shagger looking for inspiration

Eynsham is a delightful little town famed from old as being the ideal place to traverse the Thames with your pigs. In fact, several welsh sheriffs drowned in the swine-ford, and John Wesley nearly drowned as well, showing I think that pigs are more sure footed than people (hashers excepted). Because of this, and the fact that George III got wet whilst crossing (a pioneer hasher perhaps?), the Earl of Abingdon built a bridge and in gratitude the King gave him the tolls, tax free, for ever. So at least you know where your 5p  is going to.

Ah! Just the gloss-pink for my bathroom.

“Ah! Just the gloss-pink for my bathroom”, Gadget

Any way we set off and after rattling down a few alleys found our selves in the church cemetery. This was a grave error but if we were to have a ghost of a chance of completing the trail we had to put an end to the corny puns and find some flour! Low Cost and Finger Flasher eventually led us off round the streets and down to a check on a dark lane. After much running of falsies it turned out to be a back check, leaving Shit Stix and Dippy grumbling about hashing in the good-old-days.

The trail was certainly round the houses, as lamented by Black Beauty and Cruella, but it kept us going, and the Latchkey Kid’s local knowledge came in handy a few times.

After a few classically point-less loops and a very trip-hazard path through the woods we arrived back at Swing Lows for the On Inn. Here we were treated to chilli con carne and veggie-mush for Shit Stix.

The Circle

The Circle

It was too cold to stay for the circle so I buggered off. I expect Silent and Mummies Boy got a down down for haring and Dippy for being dippy, but as I wasn’t there you’ll have to make the rest up yourselves! If you are wondering where the trail went, and many of us still are, then Silent’s log is shown below.

Silent's Log

Silent’s Log. Looking at that map again, my original thought that Mummy’s Boy had traced the trail around some randomly placed jigsaw pieces has changed.
Tilt your head to the right and it’s the outline of one of Swing Low’s dogs. ON ON, FBJ.

On On, Salty Nuts ;) , with additional contributions from FBJ and Silent

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Run 732, The Windrush, Witney, 20 February 2013

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Whadesay. Scribes: Gadget & Dumbstruck. RA: Animal Magic.

After setting off with vague but severe instructions from the Hare, WhaDSay, the Oxford Hash made their way along the main road of Whitney.  At the first check, naturally all the FRBs when straight on, only to be called “On back, On back,” by the Hare. From then on no one knew where they were.  Animal Magic decided to describe Whitney to the Hashers.  He pointed out the local petrol stations and supermarket, but then he discovered he was in the wrong town.

Due to freezing temperatures, What D Say was checking on the Hashers and making sure that he was calling “On One”, On Two”, “On On” under each step of FBJ.

What D say had arranged a visit to Latch Key Kid’s football ground, but the only thing that was there to kick around was mud clods. Swing Low offered him encouraging by leading the way ahead with the aroma of Veggie Chili that was awaiting everyone back at the Beer Stop.

Late Arrivals as usual were Finger Flasher and Pony Express.  Quickly Finger Flasher was in the lead back to the Pub. Meanwhile poor Pony Express was lost in Whitney; she was making her way around in her 4 Horse Power Engine. Hooray, she was able to arrive ahead of the Hashers at the Beer Stop.

Back at the Pub, Silent was asked by the bar master to kindly stop lurking outside of the Ladies Loo.  He took notice of position and when the bar master was not looking, Silent repositioned his chair directly in front of the Ladies Loo…. again.

For next week, road kill stew is off the menu. This is due to all of the watchful Hashers that called Wolf back from joining the barking dogs across the road…. Not sure as to what the menu will be WebFarts has checked his burgers in the freezer and has discovered that they, “Are Off!!!”

This week was a great trail.

Reporting for the first time together,

Gadget and Dumbstruck

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Run 730, The Lamb and Flag, Oxford, 6 February 2013

Posted on February 12, 2013 by Silent

The Gispert Memorial Run.
Hare: Webfart. R.A.’s: Animal Magic & Shagger. Scribe: Slippery

Wash Hordes for Gispert Memorial Run, Lamb & Flag, St. Giles. Oxford.

I notice it’s customary on Oxford hashes to satisfy the thirst with a pre-trail drink and not just with refreshing beers, or well-deserved DDs afterward. Discovering the Wotscold Wheat Beer in The Lamb and Flag at the last week’s trail, I was more than happy to indulge in this tradition, ‘when in Oxford…’

Animal Magic, Webfart and, is Lockjaw taking a mobile phone call in the circle?

Animal Magic, Webfart and, is Lockjaw taking a mobile phone call in the circle?

F.B.J. arrived earliest. He’d been puzzling over a Guardian Crossword while waiting. Then, there was the talk about Crosswords that got me thinking about breasts throughout the evening.

‘I have in my breast, a half warmed fish’, or ‘with birds, a comfortable breast satisfies most needs’. The chat had progressed on to spooning… spoonisms… Spoonerisms, or something like that.

Mummie's Boy & Animal Magic

Mummie’s Boy & Animal Magic

Silent arrived and bought me another wheat beer, and then he asked me to scribe the words for this trail. Should’ve seen that coming! Honestly, wheat beer is quite strong and I was somewhat distracted thinking about breasts, so forgive me if my memory of the hash is slight.

Shit Stix

Shit Stix

Webfart, the evening’s hare summoned us all outside the L&F. He then introduced the hash-trail ‘The Gispert Memorial Run’, as being not the typical Oxford trail. It was however a usual three and on course around central Oxford. As a guest, I must remark at how beautiful a city Oxford is to run about in, so I was looking forward to the trail and was not disappointed.

Does-It-Anywhere & Slippery

Does-It-Anywhere & Slippery

We pursued the trail along St. Giles turning right into Beaumont Street then right again at Worcester College into Walton Street. The trail was picked up again into Walton Road to The Anchor at which with the exception of Shagger and perhaps one or two others who fancied a drink mid-way around, we continued to the William Lucy Way alongside the canal. It was along here that Finger-Flasher made his presence known and I believe there was mention that Pink-Pussy was five minutes behind everybody, as she was still getting changed inside the L&F when we set-off. Speaking of Pink-Pussy, there is a video from the Away Weekend I’m reminded to upload onto Youtube later.

CAPTION COMPETITION! Pink Pussy & La Crease

CAPTION COMPETITION! Pink Pussy & La Crease

The Banbury road led us into two final loops before finishing along Blackhall Road, where Silent and Victoria became distracted by three passing ladies while the rest of us sampled a tasty soup and cakes provided by Swing-Low. Thanks for the food. Thank you also to Webfart for a marvellous trail of 4.14 miles/ 6.67 KM around Oxford.

Yes Please

Yes Please

DD’s were presented to Webfart for haring the evening’s trail, Mummy’s Boy for not discovering any deformed monarchs in the Car-Park, Shitstix for finding the only free car-parking space in the car-park, Slippery, ‘returnee’ and Does-It-Anywhere for Visiting, Cruella for Giving Yes-Please cause for concern by looking after her kit, then getting quite lost at the back, Yes-Please for trusting her kit with Cruella and to Swing-Low for… I can’t recall, but surely for being an outstanding chef.

On back to the Lamb and Flag for further drinks.

Oh! ‘A half-formed wish’.

On-On, Slippery.

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Run 727, Oakey Woods, 16 January 2013

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Finger Flasher. Scribe: FBJ

Oakley Woods, somewhere North of Oxford, further than Stanton St John, not as far as Brill

This is a staggeringly late write-up, but to be fair, my fingers have only just thawed out enough so that I can write again.  Luckily the memories of this hash are frozen in my memory, especially the annoyance that all the while we’d been sat in Salty Nuts’s car before the start keeping warm, we could have also been drinking a beer from Finger Flasher’s unlocked boot!  Unfortunately the text he’d sent informing us of said beer in said unlocked boot only arrived after the run and I was back in range of Orange’s feeble signal.

 

A slightly less than average turnout tonight.  Dunno why.   A trail marked in white flour on tracks covered in white snow was surprisingly easy to find.  Twisting this way and that (Not the trail. My ankles), we wound back and forth through the woods.  I’m sure that Finger Flasher took advantage of our disorientation to run parts of the trail 2 or 3 times.  Or was it that all the paths look the same in the dark?  Shitstix was a man possessed: front-running all the while, no doubt anxious to get back to the warmth of the beerstop.  Just two stream crossings this week, but ones that could be hopped over with a bit of effort to keep your feet dry.

Thanks to Shitstix’s trail-blazing we were all too soon back at the beerstop for Goldilocks’ soup and cakes.  The millionaire shortbread was gorgeous.

And then on inn to The Star at Stanton St John where they brought out chips and bhajis!  Wahay!  Enough to feed 30, so we all had a right bellyful of it.  In a good way.

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Run 729, The Bell, Crowmarsh Gifford, 30 January 2013

Posted on February 3, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Dipstick. Scribe: Silent.

At 7 p.m. it looked for a moment that we may be outnumbered by our guests from Berkshire H3 and Didcot H3, but last minute surge of late comers saved the day.  But no RAs!  Free from the shackles of having to mind our p’s and q’s – hooray! No free beers – boo!

Some of the Berkshire hashers were a bit confused by the flour markings – they followed satellites apparently.  A cry went up – wait! I haven’t got my fix yet!  I hope they were talking about the satellites.

We decided not to wait for the Berkshire hashers to obtain their satellite fixes and ran off into the housing estates of Crowmarsh Gifford.  This wasn’t going to be a town run though. A cunning red herring across the bridge to Wantage and we were back across again and dodging badger sets whilst our trainers clogged up with mud.

Back at the pub we tucked in to our curries.

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Run 726, The Shoulder of Mutton, Wantage, 9 January 2013

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Silent

Hares: Low Cost & Silent; Scribe: Lockjaw; RAs: Pink Pussy & Animal Magic

Having travelled half the county to get to the Shoulder of Mutton, I managed to park right outside the “Pan Cook” Chinese takeaway. The “Pan Cook” Chinese takeaway just happens to be next door to the Shoulder of Mutton. There are times when I ought to believe in a God.

I have already exceeded by self imposed quota of 50 characters so had better slim it down.

The hares for some unexplained reason decided to alter the format which has stood the test of time having been modified and honed since 1937 so that it works well.

Woof and I along with other front runners run an extra ½ mile on the first check looking for hieroglyphs. Where was Mummy’s Boy ?   As usual, standing at the check.

Well I did express my feelings of foreboding about forthcoming trail and said “I’ll give it another 5 minutes before I head back to the pub” I heard someone say “aye I may come with ye”

Thankfully it got better and despite the Egyptian flavour the trail went well. We all got to get a run. Woof managed to get off her lead quite a few times and was happy as she was able to sniff a lot faecal remains left by other likeminded dog owners. Take note “Yes Please “ who was chastising me for not picking up warm nuggets on trail.

Artichoke soup and garlic bread were served.

Down downs to visitors Dingaling, Our Souls Friend , Ringer and Big Stiffy
Dipstick for being dippy and a couples of others just to fill the time.

Nice pub with good beer, felt like a grannies sitting room.

Can recommend the No. 48 chicken and seasonal veg with fried rice £4.80

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