Oxford Hash House Harriers

Run 745, Shotover, 15 May 2013

Posted on May 22, 2013 by Silent

We’re Going on a Hare Hunt

(with apologies to Michael Rosen and Elizabeth Oxenbury)

We’re going on a Hare hunt.
We’re going to catch a big one!
What a beautiful evening!
We’re not scared.
Oh No! Grass. Long, wavy grass.
We can’t go over it
We can’t go under it
Oh No!
We’ve got to go THROUGH IT!
Swishy Swashy
Swishy Swashy
Swishy Swashy

Shotover Hash Circle

We’re going on a Hare hunt.
We’re going to catch a big one!
What a Beautiful evening!
We’re not scared.
Oh No! A stream. A deep, cold stream.
We can’t go over it
We can’t go under it
Oh No!
We’ve got to go THROUGH IT!
Splash Splosh
Splash Spolsh
Splash Splosh

Shotover Hash Circle

We’re going on a Hare hunt.
We’re going to catch a big one!
What a beautiful evening!
We’re not scared.
Oh No! Mud. Thick, oozy mud.
We can’t go over it
We can’t go under it
Oh No!
We’ve got to go THROUGH IT!
Squelch Squerch
Squelch Squerch
Squelch Squerch

Shotover Hash Circle

We’re going on a Hare hunt.
We’re going to catch a big one!
What a beautiful evening!
We’re not scared.
Oh No! A forest. A big, dark forest.
We can’t go over it
We can’t go under it
Oh No!
We’ve got to go THROUGH IT!
Stumble Trip
Stumble Trip
Stumble Trip

Shotover Hash Circle

We’re going on a Hare hunt.
We’re going to catch a big one!
What a beautiful evening!
We’re not scared.
Oh No! A path up the hill. A narrow, gloomy path up the hill.
We can’t go over it
We can’t go under it
Oh No!
We’ve got to go THROUGH IT!
Tip toe
Tip toe
Tip toe

A Bear

What’s that?!
One shiny wet nose
Two big furry ears
Two big goggly eyes
It’s the Hare!

The Hare, Silent.
Not even look same! Son of Mongoose could tell difference!

Quick, back through the gloomy path
Tip toe
Tip toe
Tip toe

Back through the forest
Stumble trip
Stumble trip
Stumble trip

Back through the mud
Squelch squerch
Squelch squerch
Squelch squerch

Back through the stream
Splish splosh
Splish splosh
Splish splosh

Back through the grass
Swishy swashy
Swishy swashy
Swishy swashy

Into the beerstop.
Open a beer.
Glug glug.
Glug glug.
Burp.

Make up a sandwich
Munch munch.
Munch munch.
Nom nom nom.

Shotover Hash Circle

Scribe: FBJ
Hare: Silent
RA: Shit Stix

Share on Facebook

Posted in Hash Trash, Oxford Hash House Harriers | Tagged Bear, Bear Hunt, Elizabeth Oxenbury, FBJ, Hare Hunt, Michael Rosen, Shit Stix, Shotover, Shotover Hill, Silent | Leave a comment

Run 731, The Red Dress Run, The Cowley Retreat, Oxford, 13 February 2013

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Silent

Hares: Victoria & Finger Flasher. RAs: Shagger & Webfart. Scribe: Blew Bayou

I have a faint repressed recollection of a cold and dark mid-February Wednesday evening… a beautiful woman, slinky dress, bare arms and legs…

NOOOO! It’s a man! Well, Dipstick anyways.

Dipstick’s Legs

As a matter of fact there were an eerily large number of hashers who looked darn good at the 2013 version of the annual tribute to the Feast of Saint Valentine – the Oxford Hash House Harriers Red Dress Run.

We met at The Cowley Retreat. The usual pre-trail banter and beverages led by FBJ, La Crease, Silent, and a host of the usual suspects was augmented with the donning of red dresses, scarves, blouses, nighties, and tights by all those present. There was also much discussion about what Goldilocks forgot to bring… his golden locks. A “Baldilocks” renaming was considered, but it did not grow on us.

Once appropriately dressed with drinking muscles warmed up, Web Fart took charge and we proceeded on out, where Cruella was waiting for a trick under the un-red lights.

Oxford H3 Red Dress Run 2013

With two blobs and on, the hares, Finger Flasher and Victoria, ensured that our festive attire was enjoyed by as many amused spectators as possible.

After teasing the patrons and lubricating the red machine with two and on at the Rusty Bicycle, we proceed to do the same at the appropriately named Marsh Harrier.

Now ready to do some serious hashing, two and on became just on and on. Not quite sure what happened on the golf course. The torchless Dipstick confidently yelling “on on” in the scrub, the front running red lemmings blissfully in pursuit – it must have been the Seafarers Ale from the last BS that was guiding the way!

Oxford H3 Red Dress Run 2013

That great golf course fiasco resulted in a slow trickle of harriers to the On Inn and some missing persons in Shagger, Swing Low, Fag End, WhadeSay. Web Fart had a wonderful spread to show the ladies… excellent food that is.

The early and late assembled, and the lost lamented; we circled for the awarding of down downs to the slutty dressers (Victoria and Dipstick), the undressed (Warm & Fluffy and Grand Theft Anal) and the hares.

Back at the old Hobgoblin in varying states of red dress undress; the wonderful evening was polished off – this scribe will not soon forget her first Red Dress Run.

On on, Blew Bayou

Share on Facebook

Posted in Hash Trash, Oxford Hash House Harriers | Tagged Hobgoblin, Marsh Harrier, Oxford, Red Dress, Red Dress Run, The Cowley Retreat | Leave a comment

Run 743, The Rising Sun, Ickford, 1 May 2013

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Shit Stix; RAs: Victoria and Shagger; Scribe Shit Stix

‘Der spring is sprung
Der grass is riz
I wonder where dem boidies is?

Der little boids is on der wing,
Ain’t dat absoid?
Der little wings is on de boid!’

Yes, you would be forgiven for thinking this was starting in German, but no you clever little Oxford Hashers soon worked out that it’s the famous poem that nobody knows who penned. So there we were, the familiar Wednesday evening out in the countryside on a glorious, warm and dry spring evening…just waiting for the call, ‘On out!’ The pub’s garden was filing with expectant Hashers. There was returner Scragend stroking Badger, with her legs up in the air! What a tart! Badger that is…..NOT Scraggie! Roadie had dusted himself off from winters cobwebs, returning after 6 months of hibernation with his bicycle. No NOT Scraggie, his real bicycle! (By the way, after writing this I am losing 2 stone, shaving my hair completely off, will start to blow a trumpet and will call myself FBJ…that’s how you will find me!)

OH3, Ickford

When the numbers had swelled to 20 we were off and out. We were warned of the bovine bull terror (NOT terrier!) with his herd of Friesian girlfriends. Also, that horsemeat was hidden in the mix under the guise of real running horses in a field or two. Off down the road. An unlikely left in to the housing estate and we were soon in the countryside. Billy Wizz was seen legging it down unaware of the false soon to focus in his gaze, whilst Victoria and FBJ were seen disappearing over the style and in to the herd enclosure to the field beyond…alas with further falsies to greet them. Only Roadie and Dippy were using their intelligence and intuition to find the correct route…(Yes I know…Dippy was in that statement, some would call it an oxymoron!) Again…the statement, NOT Dippy!

OH3, Ickford

It wasn’t long and we were skirting around Shabbington, after a cunning little back check through the farmers private land. Scragend had sensed the true path, following her natural instincts and led the pack back out in to the open spaces of the countryside. It was at this point our walkers Rayan, Dumb Struck, Shagger peeled off to make their own merry, led by Le Crease. It was getting hotter at this stage and guess who it was who exclaimed that, ‘this heat..(gasp)…it’s enough to..(wheeze)…give you….salty nuts..’ said Salty nuts!

OH3, Ickford

Paul and Jess youth and dynamism were holding them in good stead as they explored each check with gusto…… Gusto was from the Berkshire hash and we haven’t seen him since that last check, boom boom!

Exclaimed Lockjaw, ‘This is virgin territory for the hash’. Yes indeed, always virtually impossible to find anything virgin these days, the hare had found it. In the middle of nowhere, a check had them all fooled….FBJ ventured down one path much to the delight of the hare when the falsies are taken, Lockjaw and Woof went ahead, Dippy was seen disappearing along the hedge whilst a quick throw of flour in the shape of an arrow had Silent and Cruella spearheading in the most unlikely direction. Reassuring to see Pony Express bringing up the rear….does she ever get a rest at a check…any check?

There it was…. ‘On In’ and our new pal from across the pond (damn, what was his name?) was heard to call ‘that’s not ‘On In’ more like ‘All In’ as he wheezed and slumped toward the beer stop.

A plethora of down downs given by the RAs Victoria (I’m not really a RA) and Shagger.

ShitStix – For a truly unique and cunning trail never before experienced!

Scragend and Roadie – Returnees

Mr. ‘Rayan’ the pal from across the pond – newcomer (loved the hat by the way)

Others now forgotten in the mists of time……

OH3, Ickford

Share on Facebook

Posted in Hash Trash, Oxford Hash House Harriers | Tagged Ickford, Shit Stix; Victoria; Shagger; Shabbington, The Rising Sun | Leave a comment

Run 742, The First May Day Run, Magdalen Bridge, Oxford City Centre, 1 May 2013

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Dipstick, Scribe: Cruella.

May Day Morning

At the Sunday TOSS, before the May Day Morning Hash, final preparation were taking place over a pint of beer with Dippy the hare. How to find each other among the throng of people at Magdalen was my question. Hold up an umbrella ‘tour leader ‘style came a useful response, otherwise you‘ll never find the hare amongst the thousands of people.

Oh chuckled Dippy I wondered what you were on about ….i thought you said thong!

That should have been a clue……

As May day dawned a small clutch of hashers comprised of Victoria, Goldilocks, Blue Bayou and Cruella, managed to find each other opposite the entrance to the Botanical Gardens.

May Day in Oxford City

The sun was up and shining on a beautiful spring morning, the choir was singing from atop Magdalen Tower and thousands of revellers swarmed around. But no sign of our hare……well not for a while, until Dippy eventually emerged from the throng wearing ‘stealth grey’ running apparel and holding a bag of flour.

We listened to the angelic refrains of the Hymnus Eucharisticus, and…. it being cultural and all that resisted at each interlude from following up with a hearty drink it down down down……….

Far too soon the singing was over and Dippy began to lay the live trail, also joined by a lady ex hasher – Straight In There, on through Christchurch. It was at this point that our hare was overwhelmed by the early morning glow and rising mists of dawn and decided to indulge in his photographic pursuits.

May Day in Oxford City

The hounds continued relentlessly on up along St Aldates where the hare caught us up and on down Blue Boar Street to the beer stop at the Bear Inn for an alfresco beverage at 6:30 in the morning with live music and bonhomie.

May Day in Oxford City

On out for the final stage and short canter to the Kings Arms where we quaffed another couple of pints outside in the sunshine and watched Morris Men dance and Pagans pipe a tune on the steps of Clarendon Building in the surreal carnival atmosphere that can only be May Day Morning in Oxford.

May Day in Oxford City

On On

Cruella

Share on Facebook

Posted in Oxford Hash House Harriers | Tagged Blue Boar Street, Choir, Christchurch, Clarendon Building, Hymnus Eucharisticus, Magdalen Bridge, Magdalen College, May Day, May Morning, Morris Men, Oxford, St Aldates, The Bear Inn, The King's Arms | Leave a comment

Run 741, The Seven Stars, Marsh Baldon, 24 April 2013

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Goldilocks; RA: Victoria; Scribe: Silent.

Ring ring, ring ring.

“Hi, is that technical support? My websites down…”"

“…welcome to Findmenet technical support, your call is important to us…”

Bugger – bloody automated answering machine.

“…please wait for the next available adviser…in the mean time sit back and tuck into some delicious mint yoghurt soup whist relaxing to Turkish music”.

Five days later and Gadget gets it up. The website that is.

Enough of this drivel! On with the trash!

The pack met at the newly re-opened Seven Stars in the middle of the Baldons for an evening of miss-direction, mistaken identity, miss-heard calling and general mayhem, courtesy of Goldilocks.

It wasn’t too long before Woof-Woof was off and chasing things. Now I don’t watch spring-watch much (not that there’s been much Spring to watch recently) but I think I can tell a Deer from a Pheasant. Unlike a couple members of the pack.

Doh! A Deer! A female Deer!

Well, several of them actually – and probably a few males mixed in with them as well.

Regretfully, whilst his away drive and Singling were exemplary, Woof Woof failed at the double-lift and penning. His handler, Lockjaw, was bitterly disappointed that the dynamic duo failed to qualify for a place in the Young Handlers.

Oxford H3′s famous set of long-lost identical twins: Shagger and Dipstick, were reunited at the regroup, and we were off again.

On across the road and Goldilocks was promising the harriettes that there would be some pea sized cocks to see shortly. They weren’t looking too impressed later at the fowl sight.

On back across the road and we were gazing at the River Thames at a hash view. Would be going for a swim? Not this week.

FBJ was later found rambling on about some funny fungus and stoned frogs. No, this had nothing to do with La Crease.

Spicy sausage was on the menu back at Dipstick’s passion wagon whist Victoria held circle and tried to make some sense out of the aforementioned events whilst praise was heaped on Goldilocks for his second trail laid.

Silent

Share on Facebook

Posted in Hash Trash, Oxford Hash House Harriers | Tagged Deer, Marsh Baldon, Peacock, Seven Stars, Sheep Dog Trials, Woof Woof | Leave a comment

Run 738, The Six Bells, Thame, 3 April 2013

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Silent

Hare: Cruella, RA: Shit Stix, Scribe Lockjaw (or possibly Woof speaking in the ~~third-person~~ third-dog)

Cruella & ShitStix

Wednesday oxford hash at from the Six Bells in Thame, Woof was looking forward to the trail which was to be laid by Cruella. Her excitement grew as we got picked up by Wha Da Say and Fagend at the cross roads on the Islip to Forest Hill road. She Hoovered out the back of the car, disappointingly low yield. Arriving at the pub excitement built as there is usually pub detritus to be eaten. A quick sniff around under some tables revealed plenty of crisps, nuts and indescribable goodies.

New Boots: Rayan, Billy Whiz & Ear Pads

The On Out led us behind the pub onto Cuttle Brook Nature Reserve where there was shiggy and some nice checks, we had a drink and a little paddle in Cuttle Brook which appeared quite refreshing.

Shit Stix picks his nose whilst waiting for Dipstick to finish his drink

Cruella was hovering with his bag of flour and we took off over the Lord Williams School playing fields to the old railway line. This was the line which linked Thame to Oxford in one direction and Chinnor in the other. I remember taking a steam train to Oxford. Chuff chuff chuff. The pack ran back along the old line towards Thame and into new housing estates, across the Recreation ground out onto Southern Road.

Shit Stix & Lockjaw

It was near here that Woof smelled a pub and so we took off in pursuit. Her keen nose found the Cross Keys where we were joined by Wha Da Say and Fagend. We had a nice pint of bitter and some pub detritus.

Ear Pad is named

Unfortunately we missed the rest of the trail and turned up just in time at the beer stop outside St Mary’s C O E .

Ear Pad is named

A very nice sausage something courtesy of Dipstick. Checked out the camper van, clean, nothing to eat, so left a few white hair on the seats.

Our RA was Badger’s owner.

Share on Facebook

Posted in Oxford Hash House Harriers | Tagged Cruella, Cuttle Brook Nature Reserve, Dipstick, Ear Pad, Fagend, Lockjaw, Shit Stix, Thame, The Six Bells, WhaDeSay, Woof | Leave a comment

Run 737, The Black Prince, Woodstock, 27 March 2013

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Silent

Hare: FBJ, RA: Shagger, Scribe: Cruella

Our GM Silent proclaimed the run to be the first run of spring! (Apparently this being a temperate season following winter) however to the clutch of chilled hashers gathered in the dark, that notion seemed a wee bit premature in the near sub-zero temperature.

Head Down from Ashburton H3 & Shagger (RA)

The on out soon encountered ’39 Steps’ and beyond the trail set out by FBJ soon developed more guile and intrigue than any Hitchcock plot as it wound its way around the back streets of Woodstock.

Head Down from Ashburton H3

Soon followed a cunning back check which perplexed the valiant FRBs and gave the rest of us a chance to catch our breath after the earlier ascent.

The trail seemed to have more checks than a chess board as it delved deeper into the heart
of the village. Even more curious was the sudden appearance of checks that had ‘apparently’ been ‘overlooked’ by the FRB’s. Strange how the hare was always at the very spot of these miraculous manifestations!

Hare: FBJ

The run was as FBJ’s other half would say ‘Petite’ though given the cold, just right. That said FBJ still reckons it took him 2 hours to lay. (Including pub stops I’m thinking?)

Dipstick

Soon enough the On Inn appeared and the pervasive aroma of lovely hot soup greeted us courtesy of our resident master chef Shit Stix. In fact so appealing was the soupy scene on such a raw night we had to fend off at least one member of the public who was about to join the queue on the assumption he had stumbled upon a charitable soup kitchen!

Victoria & Shagger

Shagger presided over the Down Downs which went to FBJ our hare for a nice concise gamble around town, Head Down our visitor, Dippy for apparently forgetting his running shoes, FBJ for lending said running shoes to Dippy (or something like that) and Lockjaw (I think) for something which I can’t remember, but it should have been (if it wasn’t) for the story about the extra curricula use of his vibrating dentist chair. (You have to ask him!)